Exclusive News: Leaders Go On Strike Across Europe*

Hundreds of politicians, business owners, and managers in Greece, Italy, Spain, and Portugal yesterday went on strike to protest the growing anti-austerity movement.  Rights were left unrepealed, mansions empty, and workers unharassed, as the ruling class took to the streets.

Town squares had not contained so many shirts and tails since the nineteenth century.  The crowds, which were composed entirely of white males, carried placards with slogans like "Tax the poor", "We don't need welfare", and "Capitalism works".

Violence almost erupted in Athens when one banker banged on an office window, furiously demanding the workers give him more tax to pay for his yacht.  However, police in all countries kept control, the crowds being small, and unused to physical activity.

The head of the conglomerations, Stalinus Scriblerus, gave a speech in which he told protesters "This strike is not just about reducing wages, welfare and rights.  Its about developing class-consciousness, realising our combined power, and proving who it is that runs society.  Let's just see how the workers get on without us enforcing our laws, micromanaging their work, and taking their profits!"

The strike caused widespread disruption in offices and factories, as employees were forced to make decisions based on their expertise, agree how much profit each of them deserved, and take a real interest in their companies' success.

A Portuguese worker commented on the anarchy.  "It is as if I have lost my job.  Yesterday I skulked to work, wasted eight hours being told what to do by someone who didn't know how to do it, and skulked home with little pay and no thanks.  Today I raced to the office, did what needed to be done, left when I'd finished, and passed the afternoon spending my extra earnings.  It was very strange.  It didn't feel like work."

*This article was reposted on The Guardian website on 21st November, but removed by a moderator.