I was perusing The Guardian's Report on the dire Condition of the Britain's Manufacturing Industry, when I was suddenly struck by the most vexing Thought, that perhaps I did not live in the best economic, social, and cultural System imaginable! I tried to put it out of Mind, like any good Journalist or Scholar, but it slipped my Mouth and reached the Ear of my Brother, who was sat beside me reading the Financial Times.
"The Economy is doing fine", he assured me.
"But Factory Output hath dropped, and borrowing hath soared! The Economy is surely anything but fine!"
"Profits have never been higher, nor Taxes lower."
"But this produceth a huge Deficit."
"So tax the Poor, and cut their Services."
"What about Society? Tenants are jumping from Flats because they cannot afford their Rents, and one Father, upon discovering that he was ill, killed himself rather than become a financial Burden on his Family. People will die as a result of de-funding Hospitals, Fire and Police Stations, and Civilian Deaths are the ultimate Indictment of any political System."
"Society is suffering", he conceded, "but its Suffering will soon end. There is only one way to eliminate the Deficit without Growth, and that is to eliminate Public Spending. The Chancellor expecteth to put Society out of its Misery by 2018."
"But People want Services: Education, Protection, Transport, Healthcare, Support for the Elderly, the Disabled, the Sick, the Unemployed: and they are amassing to voice their Demands."
"Politicians hear these Demands, and are spending billions of Taxes addressing them. They are installing Face-recognising Cameras, launching Spy Planes over their own Countries, monitoring the entire Internet, militarising the Police, and giving their Leaders the Power to kill any Citizen they wish, in an effort to detect and silence Dissent."
This silenced me. I sought to change the Topic. "What did you think of Fifty Shades of Grey?"
"A Masterpiece of our Culture, and a prime Example of why we must protect Capitalism, whatever the Cost."