the_new_scriblerus_club: (Martinus)

Stalinus and I were sat in the Parlour, sipping Sherry by the crackling Fire, when our Patron popped in to ask if we had solved Mankind's Problems yet?  

"It dependeth what you mean by the Mankind's Problems", I quipped.  "If you mean merely Inequality, low Wages, Job Dissatisfaction, Joblessness, Homelessness, Poverty, Hunger, Thirst, Crime, Death by preventable Disease, lying Politicians, diminishing Resources, Overproduction, financial Crises, global Warming, War, the possibility of nuclear Annihilation, and what not, such as The Guardian scaremongers: if you think these things are Problems, then the Solution is quite simple."  I quoted Einstein that it taketh a Genius to make complicated things simple, and a Fool to make simple things complicated.  "All we need to do is to protect the State from Whistleblowers and Prosecution, monitor Everyone's Communications, protect the Privacy of the Rich, bomb Iran, give Politicians a Pay Increase, give the Poor a Tax Increase, and take their Pensions, Care, Child Support, Disability Support, Unemployment Support, Nurses, Firemen, Policemen, Servicemen, Academics, Librarians and other Public Servants.  This is a far simpler, fairer and lasting Solution than, say, doing away with the Ruling Class, as some Crackpots propose."

"If", Stalinus emphasised, "you consider Crises, Wars, the Devastation of our only Habitat, and so forth to be Problems.  Like most Readers of The Financial Times, I am far more concerned about Profits.  However, these are easily increased.  We should lower Corporation Tax, focus on the Deficit, cut during a Recession, increase Unemployment, keep Wages down, buy up Public Services, siphon Public Taxes, seize Common Land, increase our Rights, and decrease those of our Employees.  Far better than, say, planning the World's Economy, and allocating Resources according to people's Needs."

"How to enrich the Rich is a universal Concern", I agreed, "but, I disagree it is Mankind's biggest Problem.  And my Disagreement illustrateth precisely what that Problem is.  How can we begin to solve Mankind's Problems when there is no Agreement about what they are?  Therefore we must reveal the Bent, Bias and Agenda of every News Outlet.  With so many Costermongers exposed Mankind will at last hear himself think and realise his true Problems, which are, in fact, Immigrants, Benefits, Taxes, Referees, and S----n Cow----ll." 

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the_new_scriblerus_club

January 2013

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