Dec. 13th, 2012

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to inform you of our progress privatising the education system, and to advise you what you, as the manager of a knowledge factory, can do to help us.

I am pleased to report much success.  Our government has freed no less than 2012 schools from the tyranny of public control, but not from the bounty of public finance, thereby siphoning millions of pounds of tax to Ed--ie St-----rt, evangelical preachers, and other members of the ruling class.  We even managed to conceal the ill-effects of siphoning resources, by excluding and expelling the children who needed the most help.  Our latest step is to
decentralise the pay scheme, freeing managers to give workers less, and owners more.

I am sorry to report that our project has met with some resistance from the workers, who are under the misapprehension it is their role to provide education, not profit, and call themselves 'teachers', as if they were respectable citizens.  Treat them like any other factory workers, and dock their pay.  That should discipline them and break their morale.  They need to learn that under capitalism teachers, professors, doctors, artists, and philosophers are no better than pot washers, street sweepers, bin men, and the woman who scrubs my toilet.  Model citizens make money.  What is a teacher, nurse, or artist, to a banker, owner, or politician?

The legal position is clear. Teachers who are following this industrial action are very likely to be in breach of their contracts.  I would be very grateful if you could support your school in taking a robust response, including thorough pay deductions where appropriate.  Please do so swiftly and firmly before it causes any more damage in schools.

I need hardly remind you of the benefits of privatisation.  You may already enjoy a 6-figure salary.  I am convinced that by working together in a co-ordinated way we can protect the pupils, parents, teachers, headteachers, and, most importantly, the business owners, who would otherwise suffer because of this irresponsible industrial action.

Yours sincerely,


The R---- H---- M----l G---e.


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January 2013

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