Last week I gave the order for British farmers to take part in military action in Rural England.
Today, British farmers are engaged, with horses, dogs and guns. Their mission: to remove tuberculosis from cattle, by culling badgers.
I know this course of action has produced deep divisions of opinion in our country. There are some who doubt the legality of the war, believing it to violate The Berne Convention and The Protection of Badgers Act 1992. But I know also the British people will now be united in sending our heroic farmers our thoughts and prayers. Those red-faced Tories are the finest in the world and their families and all of Britain can have great pride in them.